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South African Humour and Jokes

Zulu Scientist

After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

Blond (Joke is in Afrikaans)

'n Man waai sy arms om aandag te trek om die N1 waar hy langs sy gebreekte bakkie staan. 'n Gawe blond trek af om die ou te help.

Die man loop na haar kar toe: "Hello dame, jy gaan nie dalk Pretoria se kant toe nie?", vra hy. "Sure", antwoord sy. "Het jy 'n lift nodig?"

Crowded in heaven

It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died.

St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, "Tell me about the day you died."

Phone call from Hell

Robert Mugabe, George Bush and Queen Elizabeth died, and they all went to hell. While in hell Bush asked the devil to give him permission to make a phone call to America and find out how things are, the Devil agreed and he made his phone call and the devil charged him $100 000.

Government Tender in South Africa

The Minister of Public Works wanted to remodel her office, so she invited different contractors for tenders.

One was from Johannesburg, one from Durban and the last one from Soweto.

"OK gentlemen, I want a nice job ," She said, "Let's hear from Jhb?"

Latest Jokes

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.